


In Remembrance

by TaPanda



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Hearing Voices, Mind Control, Schizophrenia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-14
Updated: 2011-08-14
Packaged: 2017-10-22 14:50:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/239229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaPanda/pseuds/TaPanda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sollux can't do anything to stop it. And the voices just mock him.</p><p>Don't eat the mind honey.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Remembrance

Don’t eat the mind honey.

How many times Sollux heard that phrase echo through his head once he came to, once he realized what had just gone down.

Don’t eat the mind honey.

The voices mocked him, prodded and pulled at him in ways he never thought was possible. But this was worse than anything he had ever done before. He couldn’t control himself, couldn’t control his power and couldn’t stop himself from being controlled.

Don’t eat the mind honey.

It’s supposedly easy to control the minds of lower blooded trolls, but when someone has psychic powers themselves, it shouldn’t be nearly as easy for them to be controlled. It should have been impossible. Vriska shouldn’t have been able to take over him when she did, when all his wits were with him.

She made him eat the mind honey.

He could feel his will slipping as he fought against her, felt himself diving straight for the substance, and then he wishes he remembered nothing else. But he does remember, and it drives him mad. Sollux Captor not only let himself be controlled by another psychic, it led him to destroy one of the people with whom he had one of the closest bonds.

Don’t eat the mind honey.

You killed her.

You ate the mind honey, and you killed her.

After he consumed the honey, not of his own mind, Sollux could just watch from behind his heterochromatic eyes. He had no control; he had no way to stop what was happening. His psionics activated, and away he flew. The path he took, he knew only too well.

You ate the mind honey.

She controlled you.

You killed the person you held closest to your heart.

Sollux saw her look out of her bedroom curiously, and knew in that instant what Vriska was going to do. He felt his psionics fire up, and saw the look of shock, then understanding on her face. She knew it wasn’t him, didn’t she? But still, he was the one that took life away from Aradia Megido.

Don’t eat the mind honey.

But he ate the mind honey, his psychic powers running amok for all the trouble you tried to repress them. The mustard blood sent Aradia a desperate signal through his brain, doubting its effectiveness, hoping it would work at the same time.

Run away, don’t come to the window.

He sent the signal over and over, as the voices in his brain mocked, mocking his inability and lack to save her. They teased and prodded at Captor, harder and longer than before. Most of all, he heard the cackle of Vriska’s voice echo through his head over and over.

Finally, he blacked out, or the memories got to painful to recount, and his mind removed them. But when Sollux came to, he was on the floor of his hive, barely able to move, pain searing through his body. As bad as that pain was, it was incomparable to the anguish of his mind, the tortured state of being. And the voices laughed.

You killed who you cared for most.

You let yourself be controlled.

You don’t even deserve to live.

For a full week, he barely moved from the spot in which he woke up. He got up only to feed his lusus when he got to noisy and wild, and fed himself halfheartedly in those moments too. His Trollian remained off, and while Sollux adored computers and usually heralded his hacking skills, he couldn’t look at them for long without having to look away.

Aradia was the only person that ever understood you, and you killed her.

She heard the voices too. They had been getting louder as of late, but as the both of them talked late in the night about it, Sollux never thought it was signaling the end. Signaling something, of course, but she told him not to worry about her. She understood him, knew why he couldn’t sleep half the time because she couldn’t sleep either. The two trolls were inseparable when together and hardly went a day without speaking, once they realized what the two of you shared. All Sollux could think about that week he spent on the floor was those times. The laughter, the joy, the feel of being in her company, the good times and the bad.

You killed her, but she is not gone.

She still existed in his memories, and in the memories of the other friends she made. She would live, if only through them. And so, he flew back to the scene of her death a week later. He clutched something tightly in his hand. The wreckage was worse than he assumed it would be, her hive broken and charred to shreds. Unchecked psionics would not be a good thing to allow Vriska to handle again.

You did this. You made this happen. You killed someone here.

Do you see what happens when you eat the mind honey?

You deserve to die, for this.

Sollux slowly settled on the ground, and set the thing he previously clutched in his hand down gently beside the wreckage. The petals of the mixed bouquet, red and blue, fluttered lazily in the light breeze. And he spoke.

“Aradia, I killed you here. But here I will remember you. Always.”

In the moment after, he swore he could hear something.

 _It wasn’t your fault, but… thank you Sollux._


End file.
